The Importance of Building Parent-Teacher Relationships

My first year as a teacher, I was terrified of parents. Phone calls, emails- all communication with them terrified me. Looking back, my reasoning was limited: I was always afraid that if they were contacting me, it was because of something I did wrong. I taught at a well-known private school, and the stories about parents from veteran teachers in the building were elaborate and brutal.  

A few years into my teaching tenure, I began to realize how incorrect my perception was. Sure, there were parents who wanted to challenge me, but in general, I found that parents were often my first line of action when I wanted to help, nudge, or connect on a different level with a student. 

I went through some trial and error before understanding how to work with parents, and the following is what I’ve learned along the way...I share it in the hope that it will help you too: 

Our Brains as Storytellers

Few situations give me the nervous sweats and worry than a difficult conversation. I don’t believe anyone seeks out conflict, but it can be nearly debilitating if there are too many unknowns and questions. Why did she react that way? What was the intent of that comment? Why does he keep acting like that around me? 

The Curriculum and Instruction team from Learners Edge attended a Dare to Lead training, which covered Dr. Brené Brown’s work on vulnerability, courage, and wholeheartedness. Dr. Brown holds a Ph.D. in Social Work, and is a licensed Social Worker. She’s a researcher and professor at the University of Texas-Houston, and the author of 5 New York Times bestsellers, including Daring Greatly, Dare to Lead, and Rising Strong. Her TED Talk about vulnerability has been viewed by over 43 million people, and she recently released Daring Classrooms -a (free!) teacher hub that includes the applications for the principles in her books.

Multimedia Resources to Engage Your Brain

The resources that grab your brain are the ones I like the best: the ones you listen to as you sit in your driveway well beyond home arrival at home. The ones that get into your psyche so much that you have to (HAVE TO) talk about them, and about the new information that has taken up residency in your being. 

Of course, these resources enrich our professional lives too. What if you could earn graduate credit for consuming media AND finding a way to apply your learning with your students?  

Students and Teachers Say the Funniest Things!

Art Linkletter devised the clever moniker, “Kids Say the Darndest Things,” and made a lot of money capturing parent stories of precocious children saying amusing things. If he had asked teachers about things they heard in the classroom, he'd have a wealth of new material to add. We asked teachers to weigh in with some of the interesting things they have heard, interactions in which they have participated, and general missteps from the mouths of teachers.  

We share them here to illustrate the messy and humorous days of teachers, and to highlight the very real vulnerability that we ask of ourselves and our students to show in the process of learning. Enjoy! 

Get your school year started off right!

You head to the mailbox and as it creaks open, you see a district envelope. Acceptance of the PD you took, you think…maybe even reimbursement? 

It’s the Back to School Letter (BTSL).  

The End of Break Letter. 

The No More Fun Letter. 

You can feel your heart sink into your stomach. It’s this very tangible, very time-sensitive letter that starts the school dreams and Sunday night worries. Your alarm hasn’t been set for 2 months, but now you are beholden to higher powers - the school, the contract-time clock, and your students. 

The BTSL sets the stage for all the lists and tasks that the start of school brings. But I’ve also found that the BTSL serves a much more positive purpose beyond the nudge of starting to think about the upcoming school year. Here are some messages I’d encourage you to see as silver linings of this signal (back) to action. 

Living in the moment, not through a screen

“Ok, Mom. If we are going to Itasca, I don’t want anyone on their phones. Phones stay off and put away.” 

This is rich, I think. My 8-year-old son, who is constantly sneaking screen time, is laying down the law on screens. We are getting ready for our annual visit to Itasca State Park with my side of the family. It’s where the Mississippi begins! It’s a childhood favorite of mine- a place I cherish and want my kids to know and love, too. 

“Well, I think you are right in your idea,” I say carefully, wanting him to know I am supporting him. “Remember that we will need our phones to get a hold of each other, because we are staying in separate parts of the park.”  

He considers this. “Yeah, good point.” 

“But I think what you are getting at is that you don’t want to see us all staring at our phones. We should be where we are.”  

“Exactly, Mom. Like, we are in nature! Breathe! Look around! You don’t just sit there staring at a screen!” 

Aside from wishing I was recording the conversation to use in later situations, I appreciate his thoughts about this. He’s right.  

The balance of work, life, family, and everything in between!

Like so many working moms, I “struggle with the juggle”: being a parent, a partner, and an employee fills up my brain to overflowing on a regular Tuesday. Add another commitment in there – even a small one – I need to rearrange everything to accommodate it. Many people seem to be able to handle it. I am not one of those people. 

There’s a lot of talk about self-care right now pertaining to educators (and humans in general), and it’s making me an ace at saying no, even though I don’t like doing it. 

“Sorry, I can’t volunteer/ chaperone /attend all the things at my kids’ dance/ Girl Scouts/ PTA/ soccer, etc.” 

I don’t like shirking responsibility, and don’t like that it makes me look like I don’t want to be involved.  

Adapting to How Students Learn BestBlake was a junior in high school in my first year of teaching. He was in my 6th period of the day. His hair flopped over his twinkling and mischievous eyes, and we had a great relationship. We’d joke around and tease each other. He drew a lot- hysterically funny comics, especially. He was a gifted swimmer who consistently performed well in the pool. He also liked to create things and tinker around with different materials. 

Unfortunately, he just didn’t want to be in my English class. Blake missed assignments, failed tests, refused to retake or submit things late. I coaxed, cajoled, tried to meet him halfway, find alternative assignments. Results were few and far between; he straddled the line between a D and a F for most of the trimester. Blake’s mom, his science teacher, and swim coach were involved with the effort too. We even went down to the 11th hour- having him submit some work so he made it above a D so he could swim to compete in the state swimming meet. He barely scraped by. 

Interview with Josh Petitt

When we were kids, our minds were blown when we saw teachers outside of school. It was so out of context, but mysteriously cool: we saw them as humans, rather than just as their professional selves. 

To this end, the Learners Edge Chalk Blog interviews teachers in a regular segment called "Teacher Feature!" To hear more about the people behind the magic in the classroom, read on, and be inspired by these fantastic education superstars.

Josh Petitt is a middle school English Language and English Language Arts teacher at St. Paul City School, a pre-k through eighth grade charter school near the capital. He earned his Bachelor of Arts from the University of Wisconsin-Madison and a Masters of Arts in Teaching through Hamline University. Josh lives in Hugo with his wife, two daughters, ages ten and seven, as well his son, who is three years old. The family also has a dog named Slipper.  

"As is usually case with major decisions, there is not single reason. After earning my undergraduate degree, I tried a series of jobs over several years. Most of them paid reasonably well, but they also left me feeling incomplete. I knew I needed to look for something wherein I felt I could make a difference, wherein I felt I mattered beyond the bottom line. At that point, I started volunteering, and one assignment was a middle school in Burnsville, MN, where I enthusiastically volunteered with one of their English as a Second Language classes. After the first day in that school, I knew I wanted to teach middle schoolers; I simply enjoyed the children that much. So why did I become a teacher? I suppose the easiest answer is that I enjoy spending time with adolescents."

Becoming Aware of Anxiety in the Classroom

Bear with me as I give you a very superficial and hypothetical quiz. Which of these kids have anxiety?  

1. An 18-year-old college student states, “I’m totally freaked out about my philosophy test tomorrow.”
2. A somber looking 4th grader usually has his hands up in his sleeves and tends to stare at the floor.
3. A chatty middle schooler is hanging out with her friends, but often leaves the group and runs away.
4. A teacher asks in a class discussion, “what do you think, Aaron?” Aaron stares back and looks like he can’t breathe.
5. A 3rd grader has trouble staying in her seat and is constantly kicking the chair in front of her.

All of them do, and each one is demonstrating a kind of symptom. And, it’s possible that none of them have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. 

Confusing? Fair enough. The confusion and blurry lines around anxiety make it challenging to identify or diagnose.